#009 Confession: Cigarettes


Smoker by you.

it's just not into me.

           Back in college I shared a flat with my two bestfriends.  They are both smokers and it didn’t really bother me that much.  Even during that time we let one of our guy friends bring his other friends in and they huffed and puffed with the windows closed so that the walls smelled of plastic cup ashtrays for a week.  But one day, while I was tidying up the living room, I saw a half-empty pack of Marlboro reds.  Without hesitation I picked it up, and threw it out the window.  My bestfriends came back and they were both looking for it.  I told them I didn’t see it.  Somehow, no confessions necessary, they knew I threw it away.  One thing they still don’t know is, I used to bum cigarettes from them, or secretly take one or two sticks and throw it away or flush it down the toilet.  I figured I was helping them by throwing away their money instead of burning it. It was an odd phase of my life.

Smoke by you.

A friend of mine chokes if he doesn't smoke.

          I tried smoking cigarettes during college.  Everybody said it helped them relax and chill.  Somehow it just didn’t work on me.  I tried all kinds. Reds, Lights, Mint, girly flavors, slim sticks, nothing had any effect except my throat felt dry and rough minutes later.  And the same goes for weed.  The only time it really had an effect on me was in Koh Phi Phi in Thailand.  But who knows if it was that or the many tiny bits of happiness people slipped on each other’s drinks.

          Cigars, habanos and the like, I applaud.  When I first tried one it really put my head into a slow hazy spin.  Some brands have a more subtle effect, but they all manage to calm me down.  Slow down my thoughts that often are racing and battling each other.  Commercial relaxers can be our friends at certain times.


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